WHEN KINDNESS MATTERS. A LOT.

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Ever feel like you're one tiny, shitty thing away from breaking? I talk a lot about feeling "on edge" in the online program and about how to learn to feel your emotions to alleviate some of that build-up. But this is a practice after so many years of being conditioned to believe that emotions are scary and uncomfortable. Well, they can still be those things. But we cannot forget our own skills and strength.

​This is one woman's story.

I often receive beautiful messages from my followers. I also receive heartbreaking ones too. I love that I am a safe space on my corner of the internet.

​I actually read this and had a very similar moment during the day. And a tear slid down my cheek. I got it. I heard her loud and clear.

This is why I asked if she would be willing to share it with the public - I'm sure we're not alone in this feeling. A feeling of isolation. What we need is kindness. And when we are met with anything but, it is our undoing.

It can feel as though the world is against you. As though you may as well have stayed home - because it isn't safe outside those four walls when you're feeling vulnerable.

Here are her words - unedited:

I’m in week 2 of nap battles.
Standing in the cot, tears, screaming but an oh so tired baby.
Doesn’t want me, doesn’t want a bottle, doesn’t want anything except to stand and not sleep.
I send a message to a mum friend who tells me to come over promptly.
She can sense it’s wearing me down, she’s been here before.
So I go, in my sleep deprived state.
Wearing yesterday’s clothes and no make up.
It fills up my cup.
The babies play and us mums chat.
I leave ready to tackle the next nap, knowing that this too is just part of motherhood.
I arrive back at my car parked on the side street, stand in the pouring rain to get my baby back in and jump in the car seat.
All worth it.
I feel good.
And then I notice something on my windscreen, a piece of paper that’s been partially chewed by the wipers.
I wind the window down and reach for it.
This is what it said. “Stupid illegal parking.”
It was my undoing.
I cried so hard.
First I feel like I’m failing at being a mum and now I can’t even do something as simple as park my car.
The wording of it is so intense and abrupt.
I fall apart again and again over this.
If only this person knew I hadn’t slept.
If only this person knew I wasn’t trying to do the wrong thing.
If only this person knew I was already breaking and feeling like I couldn’t do anything right.
Do you think they would have chosen their words differently?
How do you choose your words when you speak to a mum?
Because do you know what?
This is really hard.
This is so much harder than I could have ever imagined.
And leaving a horrible note on someone’s window could just be the reason they fall apart today.
Just saying.
​- Mel (shared with permission)

All. The. Feels.

Mel, I want to thank you for your courage; both in sharing but in experiencing this moment. Of experiencing such disconnect when all you needed was a human-to-human experience. When all you needed was for someone to stop and think. When all you needed was for that person to withhold their judgement and assumptions.

And this is important for me to share in order to inspire others to stop and think. What could this person need in this moment? What impact do my words have on this person's experience?

Like I said in my message back to Mel, "if only we could give each other space". Literal space. To be able to take up space, unapologetically, in the world. But emotional space too. Space to make mistakes. Space for someone to think: "I've been there too". Space to be human.

​Love to you, Mel. x

​Have you had a moment like this? Let me know in the comments below or join the conversation on Instagram or Facebook.

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